Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Getting there from here...

So as you may or may not know, I am currently not in Kansas anymore, Toto. Last Wednesday I began my journey back to the Balkans. It has been 3 ½ years since I left Croatia and this is my first opportunity to return for a visit.

The days before my trip were busy with all of my preparations and goodbyes. It was a good time for me to reflect on the last few years and to see all that God has done. When I first came back to Colorado, I was tired, broken, disillusioned, discouraged, burned out and depressed. Add to that culture shock, living in my parents’ basement, no friends, no job and facing the long-over-due bitter end of a long-distance-doomed-from-the-beginning relationship. This is not to mention how angry and frustrated I was with God for doing or not doing certain things. There were so many questions without answers and nobody understood or cared. The first year was the worst. But thankfully, God provided a job and then friends and then hope. Looking back, I see His amazing faithfulness and love for me. Not because of what I had done or not done or believed or not believed, but because He is my Father and I am His daughter. Because He is the Lover of my soul. Because He is good. He gave me my friends and family…people who loved me and at least tried to understand (and even some who did understand). It took time, but He healed me and restored my hope and trust in Him. He is still doing those things. Some questions He answered and still others He didn’t. There are still struggles, don’t get me wrong. There are still moments of anger, frustration, and questioning. Thankfully now they are not so often as before.

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