Where I come from.....

You Are Mine

2011-10-15T12:02:00.002-06:00

maybe i don't have the strength
maybe i don't have the faith
you brought me here in forty years
when i know this trip should take a week
i've shed my tears and shed my blood
been outran some by the flood
and winter steals my songs away
in all of this i've come undone

when you walk through the water
i will be with you
when you pass through the river
those waves they will not overtake you
when you walk on the fire
those flames they will not touch you
you are mine
you are mine

i've been a child
i've been a slave
and i've grown bitter
and learned to pray
i've packed my bags and started back
the cost is just too high to pay

when you walk through the water
i will be with you
when you pass through the river
the waves they will not overtake you
when you walk on the fire
those flames they will not touch you
you are mine
you are mine.

you are mine.
(by karla adolphe)

Someday my heart won't hurt so much and I won't be so broken...

2011-10-15T11:56:00.002-06:00

...but not today.

Peru: How it all started

2011-03-22T11:02:00.002-06:00

So, I sorta sprang the whole trip to Peru thing on everyone without any details. Now I'll go back and fill you all in briefly and in my own words on how it all began.

The missions pastor at my church in Greeley has a connection with a pastor in Lima, Peru. The vision of the work in Peru is all about raising up leaders and sending them out to plant more churches, not so much about building a mega-church situation. Anyway, about 3 or so years ago, when Zoe's was being renovated, Phil (Zoe's pastor) took a missions trip down to Lima to help out a new church that had been planted in Cruz del Norte by Pastors Benjamin and Anita. During that trip, Phil and the team shared about what we were building with Zoe's. Anita mentioned that her family had a coffee farm and gave Phil a couple of pounds of green coffee beans. These beans needed roasting and Phil gave it his best shot after reviewing several "how-to" videos on Youtube. This first shot at amateur coffee roasting turned out to be a bust, but it also became the inspiration that led to last summer's coffee roaster purchase and the start of roasting at Zoe's. The vision for coffee roasting at Zoe's is not simply about being trendy. It is about establishing direct trade relationships with our coffee farmers in order to provide them with a more fair price for their coffee. The connection with Pastors Benjamin and Anita in Peru seemed like the perfect place to start this next phase of the Zoe's journey. Phil arranged for an exploratory trip and 23 people volunteered to join him on an advenuture to Anita's family farm in Palomar near Villa Rica, Peru.

Faithful? Are you sure?

2011-03-07T22:49:00.003-07:00

Tonight as I was wasting a bit of time on Facebook, I noticed the status of a friend of mine. Apparently her dogs had gotten loose, but had been found after prayer and searching or friendly neighbors or something. Which is great. A relief for sure. Anyway, something in her post struck me. She mentioned how it was, "another reminder from our Father that He cares for things dear to our hearts." Which again, is great. And I don't have a problem with that. At all. Honest. But it got me thinking. What about all the things/people dear to my heart that He hasn't returned. No, they haven't been returned at all. More like ripped from me at times. Painfully. Irretrievably. What are those instances and circumstances supposed to remind me of? That He doesn't care about the things dear to my heart? That I haven't prayed enough or with enough faith? That really they were idols in my heart that needed pruning out anyway? I am thankful for the reminders He gives me. For the items and people returned or whatever it is that shows me He hears me. That He sees me. That He cares for me. But sometimes the dog gets run over. And it sucks. That doesn't change the truth of Him caring for what is dear to my heart. This simple status update offering acknowledgement of God's goodness has provoked me to consider circumstances in my day. To remember that God isn't good and moving and working and faithful because my day goes well and my prayers get answered. He is good and moving and working and faithful because that is who He is. Period. My life, my circumstances are not the standard by which He is judged. Yet He is gracious to show me His faithfulness in my life in ways I can understand. Through friends who remind me of truth and who won't let me quit this struggle of faith and those who call and offer to take me shopping so we can catch up on life. And so many other ways. But I have to remember that God's goodness and character and faithfulness is not founded in my life, but in His life, His essence, His word.

"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,

and there are no grapes on the vines;

even though the olive crop fails,

and the fields lie empty and barren;

even though the flocks die in the fields,

and the cattle barns are empty,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord!

I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!

The Sovereign Lord is my strength!

He makes me as surefooted as a deer,

able to tread upon the heights."

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Getting there from here...

2010-05-25T20:56:00.000-06:00

So as you may or may not know, I am currently not in Kansas anymore, Toto. Last Wednesday I began my journey back to the Balkans. It has been 3 ½ years since I left Croatia and this is my first opportunity to return for a visit.

The days before my trip were busy with all of my preparations and goodbyes. It was a good time for me to reflect on the last few years and to see all that God has done. When I first came back to Colorado, I was tired, broken, disillusioned, discouraged, burned out and depressed. Add to that culture shock, living in my parents’ basement, no friends, no job and facing the long-over-due bitter end of a long-distance-doomed-from-the-beginning relationship. This is not to mention how angry and frustrated I was with God for doing or not doing certain things. There were so many questions without answers and nobody understood or cared. The first year was the worst. But thankfully, God provided a job and then friends and then hope. Looking back, I see His amazing faithfulness and love for me. Not because of what I had done or not done or believed or not believed, but because He is my Father and I am His daughter. Because He is the Lover of my soul. Because He is good. He gave me my friends and family…people who loved me and at least tried to understand (and even some who did understand). It took time, but He healed me and restored my hope and trust in Him. He is still doing those things. Some questions He answered and still others He didn’t. There are still struggles, don’t get me wrong. There are still moments of anger, frustration, and questioning. Thankfully now they are not so often as before.

Somebody I might actually WANT to vote for...

2010-03-08T18:36:00.003-07:00

Ben Ponder for Congress

Sometimes..

2009-08-28T01:02:00.004-06:00

...even when the main root is gone, there is left behind an elaborate system of roots that takes time to remove. The process of removal is not as painful as the first, but there is still a tenderness revealed that is reminiscent of the initial heartache. Yet another area in deep need of healing and restoration is exposed.

I might go study here...can you guess where it is?

2009-07-22T10:50:00.002-06:00

I like to move it, move it!!

2009-07-14T19:04:00.001-06:00

A world currency?

2009-07-14T19:02:00.002-06:00

I don't think so, France...

Croatia's first woman Prime Minister - Jadranka Kosor

2009-07-08T18:48:00.002-06:00

By Natasa Radic for Southeast European Times in Zagreb -- 08/07/09

Former Deputy Prime Minister Jadranka Kosor, 56, took office Monday (July 6th) as the ruling Croatian Democratic Union (HDZ) party president and Croatia's new prime minister.
"I cannot be another Ivo Sanader …I can be myself and try my best. I am not frightened, but ready," she said.
She faces two major challenges: balancing the budget, and re-energising the country's EU negotiations.
The accession talks came to standstill amid the longstanding border dispute with neighbouring Slovenia.
"Despite the historical shortsightedness of our northern neighbours, we will enter the EU," Kosor vowed.
The new prime minister also addressed the battle against corruption and organised crime. "We will continue with the justice system reform, for which reason we opened the Ministry of Administration," she said.
Opposition politicians have already voiced their doubts. The leader of the Social Democratic Party (SDP), Zoran Milanovic, cautioned the situation in the country is far from ideal.
Damir Kajin, spokesperson of the Istrian Democratic Assembly party, suggested holding elections. "If the government of Ivo Sanader did not suceed, I doubt that its remnant will," he said.
Nevertheless, Kosor appears to have solid support within the Croatian parliament, or Sabor. Lawmakers gave a vote of confidence to the new government Tuesday, by a vote of 83 to 45.
At a party meeting Saturday, representatives unanimously elected Kosor. The central figure at the HDZ meeting, however, was Sanader, now honorary party president. In his speech to members he again declined to explain his abrupt resignation from office and politics.
According to Zagreb media analysts, Sanader left the door open for a comeback. Many speculate that he might run for president in the upcoming campaign. The HDZ's official candidate is hardliner Andrija Hebrang.
Kosor, a law school graduate, worked as a journalist, covering refugees and war veterans in the 1990's conflict. She was also a war reporter for Croatian Radio before entering politics in 1995, at the late President Franjo Tudjman's invitation to join HDZ.
She is a single mother, and has published two books of poetry.

http://www.setimes.com/cocoon/setimes/xhtml/en_GB/features/setimes/features/2009/07/08/feature-02

I don't know where my bible is...and haven't for a week or two...oops.

2009-06-02T17:22:00.003-06:00

I'm not a very good Christian.

ps - the guy in the picture needs to wash his hands!!!!!

for a boy

2009-05-28T17:27:00.002-06:00

I think I know what I want
To love
And to be loved
Yet when he says the words
I want to run and hide
Of course it will not work
Of course it will not last
He will break my heart
or worse
I will break his
Longing and dreaming and hoping to see
Yet here it is
So beyond my grasp
Why can't this life be simpler
This love uncomplicated
If it is love after all
Certainly it is not now
But a whipser of hope
In the air that surrounds
My heart
Secure
My mind not so made up
This life is not mine to live
Alone
For You
Could it be
with him?

Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it.

2009-05-07T00:30:00.001-06:00

Song of Songs 8:7a

Tired isn't the right word...more like...Exhausted

2009-04-09T21:39:00.003-06:00

So, yeah, I'm supposed to have been collecting my thoughts, figuring out where to begin and writing something meaningful and insightful. You know...reflecting on the various goings-on of life these years and the crap that has gone down, how that crap has impacted my view of God, ministry, the world, the church, myself, etc. etc. There are so many reflections I'd like to make and hopefully will make, but I find that one overwhelming theme of the past two or so years has been that I am tired. My soul is weary. And something I've learned is that weariness of the soul is not remedied by time alone. Time can help, don't get me wrong, but it certainly does not and can not heal all wounds. Actually, time itself can do it's fair share of damage. Yet, it can also bring perspective, which is a very good thing. My point is, though, that being weary and wounded doesn't just go away. It takes rest and healing. (Yes, I know, one of my spiritual gifts is stating the obvious) :-p Yet even though that is so obvious, I think that the path that leads to this rest and healing can often be obscure. Or maybe difficult is the word. One of the reasons it is difficult is that if we want to deal with our pain, we have to face our pain...which, duh, turns out to be painful! How much does that suck?! Haha!!! At some level, if we are going to heal, its gonna hurt. Super. I know this isn't rocket science, but it helps me to process.

All of this talk of weariness and wounds and rest and healing reminds me of just how good Good Friday is. Really though, back on that day, things didn't look so good. Falsely accused, betrayed by a friend, abandoned by those closest to him, beaten, mocked, sentenced to death, nailed to a cross, forsaken by God. Hmmm...I'd have to admit...even my worst day has never come close to that. I'm not being flippant. Seriously, how was that a good day? Forsaken, people. By God. As in, "where the hell were you????" And "why did you do this to me???" Depths of suffering and sacrifice I will NEVER know. Something I just now realized that I had never really thought of before is how Jesus never sinned. Ok, yes, I knew that, but in light of the cross and the fact that even when he cried out and asked God why He had forsaken him, he didn't sin. One, that his experience of forsaken-ness wasn't sin, two that his questioning wasn't sin and three that he didn't become angry with God. Um, what? Hanging bloody on a cross, barely recognizable as a man, the very presence of God torn from him at the moment of his greatest need and Jesus does not sin. Another reason I am drawn to Christ. My words and my sentiments fall flat. To say that Jesus is great, amazing, wonderful. These words are meaningless when compared to him. I am so opposite to all he is and perhaps that is why I am so attracted to him. To his life. To his death. To his resurrection.

Isaiah 53
Who has believed our report?
And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant,
And as a root out of dry ground.
He has no form or comeliness;
And when we see Him,
There is no beauty that we should desire Him.
He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He opened not His mouth;
He was led as a lamb to the slaughter,
And as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
So He opened not His mouth.
He was taken from prison and from judgment,
And who will declare His generation?
For He was cut off from the land of the living;
For the transgressions of My people He was stricken.
And they made His grave with the wicked—
But with the rich at His death,
Because He had done no violence,
Nor was any deceit in His mouth.
Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him;
He has put Him to grief.
When You make His soul an offering for sin,
He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days,
And the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in His hand.
He shall see the labor of His soul, and be satisfied.
By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many,
For He shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great,
And He shall divide the spoil with the strong,
Because He poured out His soul unto death,
And He was numbered with the transgressors,
And He bore the sin of many,
And made intercession for the transgressors.

Call My Name - Third Day

2009-03-25T22:44:00.001-06:00

It's been so long since
You felt like you were loved
So what went wrong?
But do you know
There's a place where you belong
Here in My Arms

When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there

The pain inside
Has erased your hope for love
Soon you will find
That I'll give you all
That your heart could ever want
And so much more

When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness

You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name
You just call My name

Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive

Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive

You just call My name
You just call My name
You just call My name
The love I have for you is so alive
The love I have for you is so alive

You just call My name
You just call My name
You just call My name

How to begin?

2009-03-11T17:33:00.003-06:00

Ok, so, I said I wanted to write more on my blog, explore some different topics and monologue (or dialogue, if there are comments) about the shifts in my perspective on things in recent years. Come to find out, that is MUCH easier said than done. Not because I don't have time to write at the moment or that I don't have inspiration to write. I have those things. I have many a blog post rolling around in my head. The problem is this - I don't know where to start. Last night I kicked around the idea of starting by re-posting "An Interesting List." This was something that I initially posted back in October of 2007, but quickly deleted because, well, I don't remember exactly, but it was too much for me at the time. Anyway, I couldn't find that list again though I Googled like a mad woman. However, what I DID find really stirred up a lot of "stuff." Really bogged me down, so I shut down and decided not to write anything. It opened up a can of worms. Really nasty, ugly, BIG worms. So, that is why I am starting with this post instead. I'm not giving up, just regrouping. :-)

The People I Work With = NUTS!!!!!

2009-03-05T05:53:00.001-07:00

It is 7pm on a Friday night and I'm still at work...

2009-02-27T19:10:00.004-07:00

...somebody slap me!!!

What is normal?

2009-02-26T17:35:00.000-07:00

Faithful - Enter the Worship Circle

2009-02-23T14:22:00.004-07:00

I want to sing you a love song
You are the thief of my heart
Rhythm and rhyme try to describe it
No matter how hard I try, I can't hide it

Faithful, you are faithful
I have found nothing but good in your heart
Loving, you are loving
I am in love with the way that you are
Thankful, I am thankful
I had been running away on my own
And then you found me, oh how you love me
I know you'll never leave, leave me alone

I want to sing you a love song
For you are the love of my life
Rhythm and rhyme try to explain it
No matter how hard I try, I can't contain it

I can't make you love me if you don't...and you don't (thank God!!)

2009-02-21T02:11:00.007-07:00

Well, people. I was gonna post some sad Bonnie Raitt lyrics here but then came to my senses and realized, "Why the HELL am I still crying over that silly boy?!" Haha!!! I think sometimes God gives us what we (think we) want or at least a glimpse of it so that we can see that is not what we want AT ALL. He protects us from ourselves in that way. If I would have gotten what I wanted (at the time), it would have been disastrous for me. In a way I knew it, but thought *maybe just maybe* things could work out for us. Now I know they couldn't, can't and won't. What a relief, what freedom.

This is Our God - Chris Tomlin

2009-02-19T22:03:00.002-07:00

A refuge for the poor, a shelter from the storm

This is our God

He will wipe away your tears and return your wasted years

This is our God

A father to the orphan, a healer to the broken

This is our God

And he brings peace to our madness and comfort in our sadness

This is our God

This is the one we have waited for

This is our God

A fountain for the thirsty, a lover for the lonely

This is our God

He brings glory to the humble and crowns for the faithful

This is our God

Dreams to remember

2009-02-18T22:38:00.004-07:00

It is always pleasant to read the warnings of side effects of the meds you are taking. "May cause sleeplessness." May?? Who are we kidding here? WILL cause sleeplessness and, apparently, very strange dreams when you actually DO finally fall asleep. Last night I should have slept like a baby...I wasn't feeling all that great, it was late (well, ok, not SO late, but for being sick, it was late), and well, I was super tired. Anyway, I tossed and turned for a while...my ear was bothering me and too many random thoughts that seemed to get all jumbled up and troublesome. Finally, I got up and took some ibuprofen for the pain and put some drops in my ear. That was fun...nice burning sensation. Yeah, the drops are supposed to have a numbing ingredient. Uh, not so much. Well, finally was feeling a bit better and fell asleep, yay! When I woke up in the morning I remembered my dream, which was actually a dream within a dream. In my dream, I was part of a rock band!! Woohoo!! The lead singer was John Denver!!! Even better!! I love John Denver, but it is a bit odd that we were in a rock band together. I remember singing some song that had to do with colors and there were lights and we had a drummer, a bassist and a guitar player. I sang backup vocals. Then I woke up and told everyone about my bad-ass Rock Star/John Denver dream. Yeah, I was pretty cool. Then i actually woke up and realized I had to go to work. Not so cool after all. Hehe.

Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

Something in the air

2009-02-18T14:39:00.005-07:00

Hope is a tricky thing. There are days when I feel I've lost mine. And then there are days like today that I can sense it in the air every so slightly. It is the feeling that someone is near you and looking at you, but you know that if you turn to see them, they will be gone. That is how I feel about Hope today. I want it to be there and I want it to stay for a while, but I somehow know that if I pay any attention to it, when I turn, it won't be there. But maybe that is just fear whispering to me...to surrender to hopelessness...to give up. So I am making a decision to not give in to my fears. I am choosing to have Hope. Hope that God is good and that He has a good plan for me in the midst of all the chaos of my life. Hope that He is working even though I do not see it or feel it or know it. Hope that what He said is true. Hope that Christ is in me and is being formed in me. He is my Hope.

The Books on my Bookshelf

2009-02-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

Amongst all the other random crap on my bookshelf (stuff animals, candles, CDs, and the odd DVD) the following is a list of the books on my bookshelf:

2nd shelf:
A Systems Approach to Small Group Interaction (Ninth Edition)
Business Ethics
Fugitive From the Cubicle Police (Dilbert comics)
Seven Years of Highly Defective People (more Dilbert comics)
The Dilbert Principle

3rd shelf:
One 2 One (this is discipleship material from the ministry I used to work with)
Basic 7 Steps to Successful Fasting & Prayer (hmm…I need to read this and figure out what I’ve been doing wrong)
Amy Carmichael: Let the Little Children Come
Mere Christianity
The Silmarillion
Extravagant Grace
The Hobbit
Brit-Think, Ameri-Think
Finding God in the Lord of the Rings
Bruchko
The Heavenly Man
Red Herrings and White Elephants
Praying Through Turkey
Eternity in Their Hearts
I Wrote This Book on Purpose
The Fracture Zone
The Life and Teachings of Christ Volume 3
Daughters of Islam
Into the Water
How to Write Missionary Letters
Survival Kit for Overseas Living
Blue Like Jazz
Survival of the Fittest
Survival for Busy Women
How the Irish Saved Civilization
The Gifts of the Jews
Home Cell Group Explosion (yes…not what you think it would be…there are no homemade bomb recipes in here…sorry to disappoint)
Every Nation in our Generation (another book from that ministry)
You’re as Healed as You are Saved
2 copies of Biblical Foundations (step two in the discipleship process, after One 2 One)
From Dreams to Destiny
The Decline and Fall of the Ottoman Empire
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership (I think I threw up a little in my mouth as I typed this)
Developing Intimacy with God
Your Best Life Now
Karoca gre

4th shelf:
Jim and Casper Go to Church
You’re in Charge, Now What?
Business by the Book
Leaving Microsoft to Change the World
Halide’s Gift
LOTR – The Fellowship of the Ring
LOTR – The Two Towers
LOTR – The Return of the King
Langenscheidt’s Universal Dictionary – Croatian
A Book of Grace
My Utmost for His Highest
The Promise of God’s Power
God’s Words of Life
Laughter for a Woman’s Soul
Cry For Love
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
What’s So Amazing About Grace?
Divided by a Common Language
Captivating
Visioneering
The Winning Attitude (something I obviously don’t have, haha!!)
Boundaries
Language Acquisition Made Practical

This does not include the books I am currently reading: unChrisitian, People of the Book, and Three Cups of Tea (I thought there was one more, but now I can’t remember…oops).

Definately a Monday

2009-02-16T20:32:00.003-07:00

It is only about 8:30pm and I am exhausted. Today I called in sick to work because I could tell I have an ear infection. Fun times. My ear started hurting when I was out Saturday night and I could feel it getting worse and worse. Yesterday it was quite uncomfortable, but thanks to several handfuls of ibuprofen I was able to subdue the pain. Anyway, this morning I got up to make a doctor's appointment and call my boss. I made the mistake of "resting" on the couch and almost didn't wake up for my appointment. Thankfully my doctor is not too far away and was only about 15 minutes late. The doctor listened to my lungs, looked at my tonsils and checked out my ear. Yup, ear infection. I can pretty much self-diagnose them at this point. She said that my ear canal was very swollen and she couldn't see my ear drum. That is nice. Two prescriptions later and I'm on my way to the store to get my meds. Walking back to my car in the parking lot, I had a somewhat strange experience. I saw this silver car with a fairly decent dent on the front left fender. Also had a little bit of paint cracking. Weird. My car was parked somewhere around there. Then I realized that it WAS my car. Wtf??? Since when do I have a huge dent in my car??? After a brief examination, I discovered that there were no paint scratches of any kind. Just a sizable dent and the paint chipped. I got in my car to drive home. Honestly, I was very angry. Very. Angry. There is much more I could write about all of that, but I will say that I had a slight discussion with God about it and came to the conclusion that He doesn't really care about my little circumstance. Not in the way that I want Him to. He just seemed to ask me, "What has changed?" Is He somehow not good or aware or still who He is because this happened? And although my emotions haven't really aligned to the fact that nothing has changed and of course He is still good and aware and who He is, I realized and accepted those facts at least on some intellectual level. So, that was good. Back to my day...I drove to my parents house and showed my dad the dent. He said he'd come with me to get a few estimates for the repairs. Then I went to the store to get my prescription filled. 2 hours. Great. After picking up a few groceries I headed to my house and fixed some lunch. Those two hours went by too fast and I went to get my dad for the estimates. Of course there was a long long line at the pharmacy window. Plan B. Went to three different auto body shops and got four estimates. If I get the whole panel replaced, it will cost over $1,000. Super. It will be less with my insurance, but I have to file a claim. Or one guy said he could fix the panel and repaint it for about $400. Hmmm. I'm not sure about all of this. Mostly it pisses me off that I have to pay to get it fixed in the first place. Since it is still drive-able I decided to wait a bit on the repair. Oh, did finally get my meds. Didn't get home until after 5:30pm. So much for a sick day to rest. If I'm still feeling crappy, I'm going to take another one tomorrow. Which honestly that thought makes me feel more crappy because I am only getting even further behind at work being out a day or two. Ok, I'm going to have to stop this post before panic sets in.

This picture always makes me laugh out loud

2009-02-15T23:12:00.000-07:00

for grins

2009-02-13T09:43:00.000-07:00

My Nine Names

2009-02-11T20:45:00.000-07:00

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Davida
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.) Davizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav colour and fav animal) Purple Wolf
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name) Alena Arbor
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden name) Pfudamil
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite colour, favorite drink). Blue Vodka
7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name) Aunilke
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name) Sue
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets)Black Snowball

Next left, please

2009-02-11T17:10:00.005-07:00

Ok, so, I almost went over to HR today to see about another job, but I didn't. Although I did look at the job postings and start crying at my desk, but not at the same time. The thing is...I don't want another job. I like my job...well, parts of it. It would be nice to get through the day and actually clear more than three papers off of my desk (which, btw has never been messier and more unorganized and that drives me nuts!!!!). 90% of every phone call, email, conversation, situation, piece of mail, and paperwork is a three-ring circus. No one knows what to do or who to call. I need to call back or they will call me back (yeah, right). I feel like all I do is complain about my job. I try to think positively - that things will work out for the good. And, yeah, I can see that happening in maybe a year or so. But even April seems like a world away. Just getting through another day is progress, let alone making it through to next year. Sure everything is going to be ok and I need to be thankful I have a job. I just don't want to lose myself in all of this mess.

I really don't know how much longer I can take it...seriously.

2009-02-10T19:55:00.003-07:00

this crappy thing makes these so tiny.

2009-02-10T18:09:00.001-07:00

Welcome to my world - Part VII

2009-02-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my world - Part VI

2009-02-10T14:58:00.001-07:00

Welcome to my world - Part V

2009-02-10T14:51:00.007-07:00

Welcome to my world - Part IV

2009-02-10T14:51:00.005-07:00

Welcome to my world - Part III

2009-02-10T14:48:00.002-07:00

Welcome to my world - Part II

2009-02-10T14:44:00.002-07:00

Welcome to my world - Part I

2009-02-10T14:41:00.003-07:00

Priorities

2009-02-10T14:38:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I could use a drink....vodka would be nice and maybe a skosh of cranberry juice.

2009-02-10T13:17:00.002-07:00

Hmmm...can you even read this?

2009-02-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

A little place called Ireland...you may have heard of it.

2009-02-06T12:54:00.010-07:00

Eire, the Emerald Isle, whatever you call it, the Republic of Ireland is a beautiful and magical place that is, in fact, not part of the United Kingdom (The Uk is England, Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland).

The Cliffs of Moher

Me with Ian (Actual Irishman) from The Elders

If you need me, I'll be at my weekend house...

2009-02-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

I am totally crushing!!

2009-02-01T17:54:00.002-07:00

Two of my favorite things...Pearls Before Swine and (De)motivational Posters

2009-02-01T00:26:00.004-07:00

Fun times in Greeley!

2009-01-30T11:58:00.003-07:00

Federal regulators have ordered New Frontier Bank to “cease and desist” unsound banking operations — and possibly violations of the law — that have led to the bank operating at too great of a risk.However, the bank already has found an investment group to help improve the bank’s liquidity and address regulator concerns, bank officials said today.
New Frontier has been under FDIC scrutiny since October, shortly after third-quarter financial filings showed the bank’s "real estate owned," or property that came back to the bank through foreclosure, and past due loans were more than 100 percent of its capital. Typically, banks that exceed 50 percent of their capital are considered “troubled.”
New Frontier announced in a press release today that it is in “advanced discussions” with a group of Boulder County investors to raise $30 million in new capital for the bank. That group, Colorado Financial Holdings, LLC, of Boulder, has already filed with the FDIC to become a bank holding company through the acquisition of 100 percent of the voting shares of New Frontier Bancorp, parent of New Frontier Bank, according to FDIC documents.
The cease-and-desist order, which was effective Dec. 2, but not reported publicly until today, states that the bank was involved in “unsafe or unsound banking practices and violations of law and regulations.” The order requires the bank to provide plans to deal with several problems, including requiring regular oversight of operations and the removal of the positions of president Larry Seastrom and chief lending officer Greg Bell.
New Frontier and the FDIC agreed to the cease-and-desist under an agreement that states bank officials will not admit or deny the charges.One of New Frontier’s biggest problems was the amount of loans past due, resulting in foreclosed assets sitting on their books. As of Sept. 30, 2008, banking reports, the most recent available, the bank reported it had $180 million in past-due loans and other real estate owned, compared to about $70 million the year before.New Frontier most recently took a hit on confidence when Johnson Dairy announced it was filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. The dairy, which has loans through New Frontier Bank, notes that it had debts between $50 and $100 million.The bank also owns a large golf course on the Western Slope that’s been sitting on the books for some time.Check back for more updates today at http://www.greeleytribune.com/. For complete coverage, see Saturday’s Tribune.

Ut-oh

2009-01-22T20:15:00.003-07:00

Well, it finally happened tonight. I dropped my phone one too many times. Now it is in two pieces. Nice. It actually feels a bit relieving and maybe that is why I didn't see the need to rush out to get a new one tonight. Although, I probably should have one when I drive up to the mountains this weekend, but then again that wouldn't be so bad. No, I shall wait until I return. It will be kinda nice to be unreachable. This is just what I needed. Seriously. Awesome! I'm so glad this happened. It is going to be a great weekend!!!

One of my favorite songs at the moment...

2009-01-20T23:51:00.003-07:00

Collide by Howie Day

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

When I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here I've lost my place I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

This made me cry...

2009-01-15T21:44:00.003-07:00

Check out this story. I found it on Letters From Kamp Krusty, which happens to be one of my favorite blogs. Today Brant made me cry, but normally he makes me laugh.

I heart Dilbert!!

2009-01-14T17:34:00.003-07:00

Ok, so I was trying to be in a better mood today...you know, be more thankful, etc. etc. Well, that worked for about an hour. Then got an email from a "co-worker" that somewhat threw me under the bus. Anyway, bit of a hectic day again, plus I had this sinus pressure headache which I am not thrilled about because I DO NOT want to get sick yet again. It seems like all my work is piling up around me and every phone call or conversation piles on another project or task. But, yes, I'm thankful I have a job. :-P Thankfully I had a nice conversation with a lady I work with out on the West coast. She is hilarious and we had a good laugh about all the craziness going on in our day. Laughter truly may be the best medicine. Since it felt so good to laugh, I decided to check out some old Dilbert cartoons...especially the ones with Carol the Secretary. They are friggin hilarious!!! One of my favorite cartoon strips for sure. And actually, I was thinking I needed to start posting some of my favorite things to try and get my mind off of the stress of work. Here goes...a recent Dilbert cartoon that I can relate to...(see above).

So I've been thinking

2009-01-13T18:19:00.002-07:00

Yes, this is dangerous, I know, but I've been thinking I need to take an anger management course. Some stuff has really been pissing me off lately. Stupid stuff I guess. Maybe it is due to the stress of my job. Maybe it is due to the fact that I care too much. So, actually, maybe what I need to take is a course in not giving a shit. Hmmm...yes...that should do the trick!

My brand of optimism

2009-01-13T15:49:00.003-07:00

I wonder...

2009-01-06T13:26:00.002-07:00

...if I keep saying this, will it be true???

Word Picture

2008-12-28T18:55:00.003-07:00

Irritated

I need a real man...not another one of these...

2008-12-26T10:21:00.002-07:00

Merry Christmas!!

2008-12-25T21:12:00.003-07:00

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, o night when Christ was born;
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

"...nothing good dwells in me...who will set me free from the body of this death?"

2008-12-23T18:04:00.002-07:00

Sometimes...

2008-12-23T00:15:00.002-07:00

...I wish I was good instead of what I am. Nice and kind and sweet. Some people might think that is me. But I have them fooled. Because I am rude and angry and selfish. Mean and ugly and lazy. Spiteful. Bitter. Hateful. A user. An abuser. Nothing good in me. I only pretend to be good and it usually doesn't last long. What I am so naturally, so effortlessly is wretched and horrible. If you knew me, you would know that I am telling the truth. You would know I'm not depressed or down. You would know me for who I am. That I am not good. Although, I do try to be good. And even wish I was good. Sometimes.

.

2008-12-22T23:34:00.000-07:00

I need a vacation from my problems...

2008-12-19T17:03:00.001-07:00

I think that someone needs to write a book called "The Hope of Audacity"

2008-12-16T22:44:00.003-07:00

Just for grins...

2008-12-15T23:08:00.000-07:00

Work is stressing me out!!!

2008-12-11T17:20:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or...

2008-12-07T22:37:00.001-07:00

...does Amy Winehouse look like a man in drag??

My Christmas List

2008-12-07T17:44:00.002-07:00

or
or
or
or
or

ewww!!!

2008-12-04T20:33:00.002-07:00

DENVER (AP) - Health officials are looking for Colorado residents who may have traveled on a bus with a man who has tuberculosis.

The man was recently diagnosed with TB in New Mexico. On August 3rd, he rode on a bus that left El Paso, Texas, in the morning and arrived in Greeley in the evening, boarding in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He returned to Albuquerque on the same bus line -- El Paso-Los Angeles Limousine Express -- on August 9th.

On both trips, the bus made stops in Pueblo, Colorado Springs and Denver.

Health officials in Colorado, New Mexico and Texas are looking for people who traveled any length of the El Paso-Greeley route so they can be tested to see if they were infected with TB.

Colorado health department spokesman Mark Salley says the state set up a toll-free phone line yesterday (Wednesday) to reach out to anyone who was on either of those bus trips. So far, only one person who thought they may have had a relative who was on one of the buses has called.

Colorado residents who think they may have been on the same bus as the tuberculosis patient are asked to call the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment at 888-356-0332.

"By Your Side" -- Tenth Avenue North

2008-12-03T21:33:00.003-07:00

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Uh...what is the deal?

2008-11-26T23:55:00.002-07:00

What is my problem? Ok, wait. Don't answer that. :-P Seriously, though, I do have a problem. For the past six years, pretty much every guy I've liked or been interested in has either lived on another continent, in a different country or in a different state...or all three. It is as if, subconciously, I choo-choo-choose these guys because I have a deathly fear of committment and do not "actually" want to be in a relationship. Hmmm...interesting. Seems to me that any guy within a 500 mile radius is completely boring or defective and I wouldn't like him...unless of course he has a girlfriend. In that case, I would find him cute and funny. Yet conveniently unavailable. It's a gift.

Alright, enough over-analyzing for one night. At least it is not all still rolling around in mah heed. This venting has been helpful for that at least. Anyhoo, onto better things as it is now officially Thanksgiving and there are festivities to be had and naps to be taken. I thank God for the Pilgrims and for my four days off of work. God bless America! :-)

Yeah, so...I think I'm in love...

2008-11-24T14:11:00.001-07:00

Stay

2008-11-21T20:17:00.002-07:00

Will you hold me in Your arms

As I rest on Your knee

Won't You tell me my favorite story

I was an orphan

You adopted me

As I listen to Your voice the blessing surrounds me

I know I'm Yours

I'm so glad You found me

I was an orphan

You adopted me

Wrap your strong arms around me

This is my peace

Father, stay close to me

Stay

As I look in Your eyes I see such kindness

Nothing in the world is anything like this

I was an orphan

You adopted me

Wrap your strong arms around me

This is my peace

Father, stay close to me

Stay

My thoughts on the recent elections (presidential & otherwise):

2008-11-07T06:30:00.002-07:00

It sure is getting crowded in this handbasket!!!

Q & A

2008-10-16T22:36:00.002-06:00

1. Where were you 1 hour ago? a gas station
2.Who will be your next kiss? my nephew!! i love to give him kisses & zerberts!
3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? of course!
4. When is the last time you went to the mall? about two weeks ago when i was in Pasco
5. Are you wearing socks right now? no
6. When was the last time you went out of town? i am out of town right now :-)
7. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? no, not even the last five weeks
8. What was the last thing you had to drink? dr. pepper
9. What are you wearing right now? sweat pants & a t-shirt
10. Have you been in a car wash? not recently
11. Last food you ate? a hamburger
12. Where were you last week on Saturday? i was at home, at work & then at a friend's house getting my hair dyed
13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? that'd be a negative
14. When was the last time you ran? tonight; st. louis can be a scary place after dark. lol
15. What's the last sporting event you watched? hmm...UFC!!
16. What is your favourite class? 1st class
17. Your dream vacation? a long trip where i can go to all the places i'd like to visit
18. Last 3 people's houses you were in? mine, my sister's and my friend's
19. How old are your parents? older than me :-P
20. Do you miss anyone?
21. Last play you saw? no idea...its been ages since i've seen a play
22. What are your plans for today? the day is almost done, so finish this and try to get some sleep
23. Ever go to camp? yes
24. Were you an honour roll student? sometimes
25. What do you know about the future? it will be here faster than i think
26. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? no, which reminds me...i need to buy some
27. Where is your best friend located? in houston
28. Do you have a Tan? not currently
29. How old do you want to be when you have kids? alive
30. Do you collect anything? stories of a pathetic love life
31. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over? a few weeks before i left to be a missionary in Croatia!! lol
32. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? uh...yeah...
33. How do you like your drinks? fluid
34. Do you like Hot sauce? the spicier, the better
35. Last time you took a shower? this morning
37. What is your mood today? mostly sunny with a few clouds
38. Are you someone's best friend? yes
39. Are you Rich? most definately!

Wisdom from a Starbucks cup

2008-10-05T13:16:00.002-06:00

"You can't lead the people, if you don't love the people. You can't save the people, if you don't serve the people."

-- Cornel West, University professor, Princeton University

So...

2008-09-16T23:20:00.001-06:00

I just want you to waste a little time with me...is that too much to ask?

Broken - Seether/Lee

2008-08-19T18:00:00.004-06:00

I wanted you to know
That I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph
And I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here....anymore

The worst is over now
And we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn
And no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone...away

You're gone away
You don't feel me here....anymore

My Romance by Rick Pino

2008-08-02T20:41:00.008-06:00

Look at the way the flowers bloom for you

They want to show you their beauty, Lord

Running waters dance

You and I romance

Unto You, be all the glory
Unto You, be all the glory
Unto You, be all the glory

Angels dance around You
The earth it sings about You
Open up the heavens, Lord
Let your kingdom come to earth

Unto You, be all the glory
Unto You, be all the glory
Unto You, be all the glory

My praises all surround You
My soul can't dance without You
Open up the heavens Lord
Let your kingdom come to earth

Unto You, be all the glory
Unto You, be all the glory
Unto You, be all the glory

******
It is official, I still have a job. I'd thank to say, thank you, God. :-)

Day 18 of the 40 Day Fast - Team 2

2008-07-09T17:03:00.006-06:00

First off, I would like to thank Kat and everyone over at Inspired to Action for putting together the bloggers and organizing this year's 40 Day Fast. Secondly, if this is the first 40 DF post you are reading, I encourage you to click on any (or many) of the links to the right of my blog to be inspired, challenged and encouraged by what God is doing in the earth among those close to His heart - the broken and forgotten.

Today my "blogging buddy" is Crystal and you can read her amazing post here.

I am a person who can be easily overwhelmed. Reading the different posts from the fast, watching the news and hearing about tragic events that take place every day around the world can weigh me down. The problems seem insurmountable. Un-over-come-able. Hopeless abounds. Evil seems to flourish. However, in the darkness, light shines. Light overcomes.

One of those shinging lights is Bob Blair. Bob runs a Volunteer Farm on land that previously was used to grow Christmas Trees. I first learned about Bob while watching ABC News while visiting relatives in Texas back in June. Everyone was sort of talking, not really paying attention, but I strained to hear the story. Basically, Bob runs his farm to provide food for a local food bank relying on on donations and volunteer workers. During harvest season, the peas and onions that are picked in the morning are served that same day at a nearby soup kitchen. Bob told ABC his reason for starting the farm: "It's 'love thy neighbor,'" he said. "There is no other motivation — perhaps, no better motivation."

Bob's story may seem small and seemingly insignificant in light of the global food crisis, however, he is making an impact. He was inspired to action. My prayer is that this 40 days of fasting will inspire all of us participating to a greater level of action. That Bob and others like him will have the resources they need to reach out to the poor, needy, hurting and alone. Mostly, I pray that the "least of these" verses would not be felt only in our hearts, but in our pocketbooks, in our hands and in our feet as we actively serve Christ.

For more information on Bob Blair and his work, please click on this link to the World Foundation for Children.

the flood waters are rising and i'm reaching the breaking point

2008-06-15T01:16:00.004-06:00

i saw Grace's post - http://kingdomgrace.wordpress.com/2008/06/13/two-perspectives/#comments (i left comment there as well)

that was linked to Brant's post - http://branthansen.typepad.com/letters_from_kamp_krusty/2008/06/i-hate-pirates-too.html

and then watched the video here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHc5aFx64Mo

which resulted in this comment on Brant's blog and my utter disgust:

i used to live in Dallas and would listen to Ed on the drive home. at the time i thought it was pretty good stuff (although i didn't agree with everything), but i wonder what i would think if i heard those sermons now. anyway, i clicked on the link and got the willies right away from the freeze frame before the video starts. can't really explain it, but it absolutely creeped me out. while the video is uploading (i have crap dial up), i am writing this comment and also looked at the fellowship website. it is all to much for me and will look at it no further because it angers and disturbs me. there is a note on the beliefs page that absolutely disgusts me. it is about reaching out and how the lost simply need an invite to FC so they can see what following Jesus is really about. i think i will go vomit now.http://www.fellowshipchurch.com/beliefsyour thoughts and perspective on things are appreciated. i posting a link to this post on my blog and will use this comment on there as well. anyway, thank you for your time.

Betty Butterfield

2008-06-01T21:56:00.002-06:00

This made me laugh SO hard!!! Hope you enjoy it! ;-)

Pink Elephant Rides Only $1

2008-05-30T23:17:00.006-06:00

Spiritual abuse has been defined as "a kind of abuse which damages the central core of who we are. It leaves us spiritually discouraged and emotionally cut off from the healing love of God." Another definition of spiritual abuse is "the mistreatment of a person who is in need of help, support or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining, or decreasing that person's spiritual empowerment."

For more go to: http://www.micsem.org/pubs/counselor/frames/spiritabuse.htm

Tornado

2008-05-28T17:09:00.002-06:00

This is a picture of one of the tornadoes that hit the area last week. This is about one mile from where I work and maybe 7-ish from where I live. Thankfully, I was out of town when it happened. My family and our property are all ok as well. Even though there was one fatality and hundreds of homes demolished, it is a miracle that there was not far more damage done.

God is like...

2008-05-19T17:29:00.001-06:00

...a frog.

He keeps jumping out of the boxes I try to put Him in.

Some things I've noticed lately...

2008-05-16T11:00:00.002-06:00

this isn't a super fun post. just fyi.

things i'm NOT good at being:

- "good"
- nice
- loving
- patient
- quiet

things I AM good at being:

- judgmental
- harsh
- unkind
- a slacker
- angry
- frustrated
- annoyed
- annoying
- depressed

anyway, the lists could go on and maybe i'll add to them as things come to mind. am very frustrated about some stuff at the moment and hopfully will blog about it a bit later.

Life IS pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is tyring to sell you something.

2008-05-07T22:50:00.002-06:00

Name the character, actor and movie.

So...what is it that the American culture is trying to sell me?

What is the "church" trying to sell me?

If You Want Me To - Ginny Owens

2008-04-22T00:01:00.003-06:00

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire if You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself and I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley if You want me to

Faithful To Me - Jennifer Knapp

2008-02-15T13:01:00.000-07:00

All the chisels I've dulled carving idols of stone
that have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves
I've recklessly built all my dreams in the sand,
just to watch them all wash away

Through another day, another trial
Another chance to reconcile
To One who sees past all I've seen,
and reaching out my weary hand,
I pray that you'd understand,
You're the only one who's faithful to me.

All the pennies I've wasted in my wishing well
I have thrown like stones to the sea.
I have cast my lots, dropped my guard, searched aimlessly,
for a faith to be faithful to me.

Through another day, another trial,
Another chance to reconcile
To One who sees past all I've seen,
and reaching out my weary hand,
I pray that you'd understand,
You're the only one who's faithful to me.
You're the only one who's faithful to me.

Survey Time!

2008-01-25T11:38:00.000-07:00

1) Name 2 favorite colors? blue and purple
2) Birth month and birth sign? August-Leo
3) What is your favorite meal? mexican food
4) Do you exercise daily? Unfortunately no.
5) Do you own a gearshift (manual) or automatic car? Automatic.
6) What movie did you watch most recently? Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King
7) What kind of car do you drive? Buick Lasabre
8) Pepsi or Coke? Neither, just Dr. Pepper please
9) Most recent CD bought? erm...well...let's see....i bought a bunch of blanks CDs to burn some tunes on....and I downloaded a bunch of Christmas music over the holidays.
10) What kind of clothes describe you best? it is fun to dress up sometimes, but i like jeans and a t-shirt with a pullover fleece.
11) Describe yourself as if you were telling someone who was blind what you looked like:
12) What do you do for a living? work n stuff
13) What do you hope to achieve as your goal this year? finish some more classes toward my degree
14) What is the most important thing in your life? My relationship with God, my family & friends.
15) Name 2 things you could have changed about your life. Don't get me started...
16) Do you intend to travel and where? i have traveled quite a bit and would like to do so again some day, but not really sure when. i'd like to go to Ireland, South Africa, Canada, and Australia as well as go back to a lot of the places that i've been before.
17) If there was 1 thing you could remove what would it be? selfishness
18) If you could live any where in the world, where would it be? I'm living there now.
19) Describe yourself: funny, smart, sensative, loving, generous, loyal, frustrated at times, far from perfect
20) How many people will you send this quiz to? No one, maybe someone will copy it like I did.
Hugs and love to all!!

There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil.

2008-01-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

Warning...some gross stuff may follow...

2008-01-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

well, i never thought i would say this....ever. i miss going to the doctor in Croatia. there it is. out on the table for the world to see. never saw this coming did you? yeah, me neither.

ok, now first of all, i went to the doctor about two weeks ago because my ear was bothering me and my throat had been hurting. they did a test and said that i had neither tonsilitis nor strep. great! then i was thinking they would do something about my ear...but no....take a decongestant and drink lots of fluids. nothing was done to my ear. this inspite of the fact that the doctor said my eardrum was mostly blocked and couldn't be fully seen. ok, fine, do what the doctor says. even though i'm not happy about it.

enter last night. i woke up around midnight with a sharp pain in my right ear. to anyone this would spell trouble, to me, it struck panic in my heart. too many long hours have i suffered with ear pain....i liken it to a screwdriver being jammed into your ear and left there for weeks. ok, hours, but it feels like weeks.

i KNEW two weeks ago that something was up and needed to be done. anyway, i decided to go back to the doctor today. and although i was prescribed an anit-biotic and recommened some drops, still nothing about getting what is in my ear OUT of my ear. argh!!!! in Croatia they would have been very invasive, no thought at all about the pain it would have caused me, but they would have dealt with the issue, not simply prescribe an anit-biotic, not unless it was truly necessary.

so here i sit, with my ear still bunged up....fun times!!

Question.

2008-01-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those moments of discovery when you find out something that you wish were not true, but really you had a feeling about it all along, and now that your suspicions were confirmed, you'd rather not think about the whole thing anyway, yet you are a bit disgusted by it and also somewhat angry? Yeah, havin' one of those moments at the moment...

"Wait" - Mat Kearney

2008-01-12T15:59:00.000-07:00

The wind hit my back, cold as I remember

And caught me off guard, in the middle of December

Sometimes a crowded room, can feel the most alone

Sometimes I wonder why, I won't pick up the phone when

This wall is glaring and it's too high for me to climb

I've ran and ran and now there's nothing left behind

I see a picture of a broken man inside

I've tried and tried and now there's nothing left but time

I'll wait for you, I'll wait for you alone

And I'll wait for you, I'll wait for you alone

Together we will fly tonight

And leave all the rest behind

I'll wait for you

These hands can feel like they're not even mine

A tree and a nail and a cry in the night

Sometimes a little step is the greatest divide

Sometimes I feel your breath right at my side when

Here I am at the edge of the road

One hand on the end of the rope

One crack and it breaks alone

Wondering who'se gonna take me home

On my knees when you call my bluff

Begging please from the edge of the ruff

And I know I've had enough, and I know it, and I know it

48 things to do in an elevator

2008-01-02T19:28:00.000-07:00

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
4. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
15. Do Tai Chi exercises.
16. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
17. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
18. Meow occassionally.
19. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
20. Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!
21. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
22. Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
23. Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
24. Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
25. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.
26. Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!
27. Leave a box between the doors.
28. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
29. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
30. Start a sing-along.
31. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?
32. Play the harmonica.
33. Shadow box.
34. Say Ding! at each floor.
35. Lean against the button panel.
36. Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.
37. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
38. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
39. Bring a chair along.
40. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
41. Blow spit bubbles.
42. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
43. Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
44. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
45. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
46. Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
47. Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.
48. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!

Ok, the next person who pisses me off at work gets strangled with my mouse cord....or my phone cord...I haven't decided yet...

2007-12-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hmm...maybe time to enroll in an anger management course, eh? :-P

"I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."

2007-12-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

Theodore Roosevelt, Des Moines, Iowa, November 4, 1910

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

2007-11-16T09:42:00.001-07:00

Easy Listening

2007-11-13T10:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am at work (on a break) and I'm listening to Josh Groban's new christmas album called "Noel." it is so beautiful and the first song is just now finsihed. :-P you simply must go buy it!! right now...go ahead....go to amazon.com and buy the CD!!!! if i was smarter i would put a link doodah to make it easier for you, but well, i don't know how to do that.

anyway....what are you waiting for???? Go!! NOW!!!!! :-)

Cool Stuff Jesus said #619

2007-11-07T14:49:00.001-07:00

“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." - Jesus

Cool stuff Paul said #617

2007-11-07T14:46:00.000-07:00

"Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life." - Paul