Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I need to trade in my insecurities.....for a little love....

Sometimes I hate it when mistakes I make in the past get thrown in my face. I guess really I hate not being in control.....being at the mercy of someone else, feeling defenseless or some how weak. Not that I am so strong, but I don't want to look bad. Self-preservation. This must go. In a good way. Honestly, I am fine with what happened.....not a big deal. And no, I am not upset with the person who reminded me of one of my many faults. It actually was meant to help me, remind me to do what is right. I should appreciate it. I do really. Why is it that it makes me feel so bad? Ashamed. Wrong. Exposed. Insecure. Hmm....yes...that is it....my insecurity. Because if I really knew and believed that I am loved then even when I am reminded of my faults, I would still be secure because I would KNOW that I am loved. KNOW that I am accepted no matter what. Even if not by the person expounding my wrongdoings, then by my Creator who is even called the Lover of my soul. This love is what I need. This love is what my heart is aching for. And it only comes from Him.


Post a Comment

<< Home

create your own visited country map