Thursday, January 19, 2006

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! :((

I feel so yucky!! *cries* Here I was sitting at the cafe, Branka had just left & no one else was here. This guy walks in and sits down at the bar (he looked about 30ish). He ordered a juice. Nothing unusual. Then he was sort of talking with me. (in Croaitan) Asking me how long I've been here, if I was married, a bit about the cafe, and where I was from. Then I went upstairs to clear off a couple tables. When I came back down, he asked what was upstairs. So I told him it was a bigger space...more of the cafe. He went up to check it out. As soon as he got back downstairs, he said, "That would be a good place to have sex, no one would see." Um...I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing and thought I had misunderstood. However, sadly, I had not. He asked me what I do if it isn't busy. I said clean, maybe watch tv. Then he proposed, "Wouldn't you rather have sex [with me] upstairs than clean?" Are you flipping kidding me?!?! Was he high??? Are guys really so stupid to think that line would EVER work??? Or sadly, are there really girls out there that it WOULD work on??? I was completely shocked and disgusted. Honestly, I don't get hit on very often. (to say the least...lol) It was quite uncomfortable. Maybe he just wanted to see my reaction. Maybe he just was a disgusting jerk. Needless to say, I told him I would rather clean. lol. He asked again if I was married or if I had a boyfriend. As if it makes a difference that I am not married and don't have a boyfriend. What a creep!!!! Oh and then he asked what I had said my name was. I told him I hadn't said. A bit later he asked me why I wouldn't tell him my name. Pulease. Thankfully some girls came in and shortly after, he paid for his drink and left. Why oh why do the freaks come to the cafe when no one else is here??? *sigh*

Monday, January 16, 2006

Raindrops keep fallin on my head

Um, that would be because I forgot my umbrella this morning. The sun was too good to last. :( It started raining today, it is grey and cloudy. Perfect timing for school to start back. Haha! At least we are busier at the cafe now. :D

Well, this seems to be a recurring theme for me lately, but wow I am selfish. Or at least I feel that way sometimes. Things happen at work, at home, with my friends. Thoughts come. Then I think, "hmm...that was selfish of me." Is it that I am truly selfish (yes) or that I feel condemned when I don't do what others want me to do (yes) or maybe I don't have very good boundaries (yes again). Nice, good thing that is cleared up now. haha!!!! Sometimes, well actually all the time, I don't like being pressured into things. When I feel like someone is asking me to do something, but I really do not have the option to say, "No." Espeically when what I want to say is, "Not only 'no' but 'hell no!'" Am I just wrong? *sigh* Then the bad thing is that usually what happens is that I say, "Yes" then simply stuff all my anger, frustration and resentment deep down inside. That is NOT good. AT ALL. lol Because then it is expressed in unhealthy ways. Man, I need therapy!!!! lol

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Swing Life Away - Rise Against

Well, I had a concise and boring post written when my connection got messed up and I lost it. So, instead, I leave you with this:

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away

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