Hey Jealousy

it is amazing how simple words on a page can cut like a knife. i wish i could say it didn't matter and that it didn't bother me, but it did. it was stupid, really. what i need to do is get over it. let it go. it hurts less already and it will only get better....i hope. maybe i need to cry it out, but honestly, i'm tired of crying. yet the tears keep coming. then all the pain of the past year washes over my heart....ali ne mogu više. kada scre me boli, razmišljam o hrvatskoj (i znam da ne mogu govoriti hrvatski i zaboravila san sve "svoj" jezik). nedoštaješ mi ti, Splite moj!! kad sam tužna, spominjem svoji prijatejli (nego gramatika :P ) i šlušam glazbu iz hrvatske. htjela bih pricati sa zene koji radi u pekaru blizu globala (jele i mare!!). htjela bih popiti kavu u f-caffe (w/ Maja i Karla i Lara...itd.)....i setati na rivi....i viditi more....i biti doma. bila san splitcanka (ili skoro ili nesto..hehe) ali sad san u svoj pravu mjesto...u americi, iako (jeli to "still"??) ponekad osjecam da tu sam strankinja. cudno je. tesko je, ali znam da cinila sam pravu stvar. ali jos me boli. jos sam sama. bez svoje ljude. jos ne znam kud s tobom nikud bi sa sobom. (Hari!!) To mi treba....taj pjesma....da mogu plakiti malo jos. hehehe!! eto, to je to zasad. moram spavati sad. ako mozes procitati sta sam rekla onda, ja te volin i nedostajes mi ti....u srcu moju si ti....zauvjek. CMOK!!!!

nekoliko pjesme.....

Volim Hvratsku srce moje
Kuca za nju, ja to volim


I činim pravu stvar (ne spominjem te ja)
Jezik pregrizem da ne bi opsovao
Ovaj život što ga dijelim napola
I kada poželim te ja
Jezik pregrizem da ne bi opsovao
Ovaj život što ga dijelim napola


Ni ove dvije duše što nam je Bog povjerio
Umjesto da se ljube ja sam i to iznevjerio
Izdao sam te izdala si me
Bolje nismo ni zaslužili
Ni ove dvije duše što nam je Bog povjerio

Please HELP me!!!!

ok...so i remembered the other bits i wanted to blog about...aren't you SO glad. :P

i've officically dubbed February as "my month to get off my lazy ass and walk every day." that said, i've walked four out of the five last days. i missed yesterday cuz i went and shared with a sunday school class of kiddos about all my fun adventures in croatia, then after that they had a church lunch so i didn't get home in time to walk before it was time to go to my sister's house to watch the superbowl...then we didn't get home from that until 8:30pm or so and then my dad needed me to help him grade some papers that i'd said i would help with....so basically it was too late for me to walk or at least that is what i told myself. (excuses, excuses, i know ) oooooh and that reminds me....the assignment that i was helping my dad grade had a question where the answer was 33 degrees Celcius (i still can't figure out how to get that friggin degree symbol ). so this one kid (my dad teaches 7th and 8th grade science) had "showed" her work on the paper....this is what she put: 25 + 8 = 113 oh, it was so sad and funny at the same time. poor kid. at least i got a nice laugh out of it.

so here is where i need your help: i wanna make a CD that i can listen to while i walk. please give me your suggestions of songs i can put on my CD...songs that are upbeat and stuff. i appreciate your help!!!!

hugs!!!

a little bit of this, a little bit of that

Welp, first off, I'd like to say wooohooo the Colts won!! They definately outplayed the Bears yesterday and although, I would have liked to see Chicago win, I'm happy Indianapolis won....they did a great job!! Going into the NFC/AFC championship games, I had wanted the Colts to beat the Patriots and the Bears to beat the Saints....since they both won, I knew I was gonna be happy either way with the outcome of the Superbowl. It was a good game and I had fun watching it with the fam at my sister's house. :D

Secondly, just to vent a lil here.....it is SOOOO incredibly annoying to me that when they presented the Vince Lombardi Trophy (the superbowl trophy) to the Colt's owner & coach...they say to them: "You are the World Champions." Psssst....guys....only American teams play in your league. And we wonder why the rest of the world thinks that we're self-centered.

And finally, hmm...not sure what I was gonna say here...it was summat....and not football related either, but can't seem to remember it now...if I remember, mebbe I'll post it...

POPPET!!!!!

popsy daisy!! :x i just got off the phone with my sweet friend, Branka. we haven't spoken since the day before i left croatia...3 months ago. wow. i can't believe it has been that long, yet in some ways it seems like longer than that. a flood of tears came when i heard her voice. i miss her SO much....i miss all my friends in croatia. it rips up my heart sometimes. yet, i know that it was time for me to leave, although what things will become here remain to be seen. sometimes i have to cry it out i guess. haha!! i'm in that "stuck in the middle" place....no longer there in that world, in that life and not quite established here. just feels kinda lost sometimes....like who the heck am I??? gotta take it one day at a time. keep smilin, keep looking up. :D it took time to build those relationships there....to have the history we have together. it will take time here as well. i guess in those moments of loss that i feel, when my temptation is to look at all that's gone, i pray that i find strength in the One who isn't ever going to leave me and that i remember the good things and friends that i have....even if they are far away on some other continent. they will be in my heart forever.