I AM NOT SORRY!!!!!!! And I will NOT apologize!!!
Last night I had a revelation of sorts. Marin, Denis and I were rehearsing the songs we are going to sing on Sunday night (for the North Point team). We were practicing a song and I was thinking, "Too bad I can't harmonize. Sure, I can learn the part and then sing it, but I can't just 'hear' it on my own." You see, I've always wished I could harmonize by ear. My mom can. She can hear a song and play it on the piano....just like that. *snaps fingers* Essentially, throughout my life I have felt bad about it and would always apologize about it or explain it away to people all the while feeling somehow "less than." Now here is where the revelation comes in: God spoke something to my heart in that moment. Call me crazy, I don't care. He did. It was like a breath of fresh air. He said, "Don't you think if I had wanted you to have that gift, I would have given it to you? You don't have to apologize about it." (or rather, "Stop apologizing about it.") It was like He took a big rock from me that I hadn't even realized I had been carrying around. Freedom. To be who I am and not for one second apologize about that. Yes, we all need to learn and grow and become more like Jesus. This I know. Yet in the meantime, I can revel in the fact that I am His child. He made me. He chose me. He LIKES me!!!!!! And He never grows weary of loving me with a love so amazing, so rich, so deep, so unfailing.